stuff

the other night i had this weird/scary dream that i’ve been meaning to blog about before i forget it and the details get all fuzzy. so here it is…

from what i remember it start off with me and donald in my house just watching tv or doing something boring when i see a snake on the floor. not a real big snake but definately not a little garden one. it was big enough to scare me so i hop up on the couch so i’m standing and start telling donald to get it out of the house before it eats my cats or faygo. donald just calmly walks up to the snake, picks it up like it was a bunny or something less scary then a snake and says ‘oh he’s not bothering anybody’ and then he moves towards me. (it was one of those dreams where everyone else in it is acting crazy, and you’re the only sane person there but since everyone else is insane and you’re the only not crazy person, you actually feel crazier then the freaks surrounding you.) as he’s bringing it closer to me my natural reaction is ‘what the fuck is wrong with you, take that thing outside!’ instead he puts it in this hole in the wall. i hadn’t noticed the hole until just then. he sits back down and we continue watching tv. like the snake is supposed to live in my walls now and if i don’t bother it, it won’t bother me. except its a fucking snake and it probably will bother me before i notice it again. so now, we’re watching tv when i look over my shoulder and there another hole in the wall, and theres all these pipes. as i’m looking at the pipes i see another snake! i knew it was a different one cause it was a different color. again i say ‘donald get this snake out of my wall!! call animal control or something we must have an infestation!!’ he just looks at me and says ‘just don’t bother it and it won’t bother you’ at this point there are snakes of many different colors all over my house, and donald isn’t doing one thing to help get them out. i’m freaking out but i can’t move from the sofa cause there are so many i’ll step on one. and i get the feeling the snakes really want to hurt me, like they’re gonna bite me i just don’t know when.

and thats the end. it was terrifying. i do not wish to have that dream again.

ricky martin came out of the closet today guys

http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/29/ricky-martin-comes-out-homosexual-gay/

i’m really trying to not over-react, cause i do know that i tend to do sometimes. but i don’t consider blogging to strangers on the internet about my problems a big over-reaction. this dirty little whore that fucked the man i love will not get out of my head. and now, thanks to facebook, i see that she’s still talking to some of my best friends and they’re just chatting like nothing ever happened. oh lord, i wonder what life would be like without facebook. this generation knows way too much about what everyone else is doing. at least if these social networking sites didn’t exsist they could have their phones call or whatever and i’d never know. the option to tell me would always be there and wouldn’t that be a better way to find out anyway? cause the person wanted to tell you the truth themselves, not for fear facebook would rat them out. i can’t stop anyone from being friends…obviously i can’t stop a lot of things. and i’m trying to get that into my head, cause in case you haven’t noticed i rarely learn a lesson the first time its taught to me.

i just need her out of my head. sometimes i could be doing THE MOST boring normal everyday thing and what pops in my head is “you know he picked her up from her house….she rode in your shotgun, they drank your bottle of liqour, and fucked in his bed. she brought her toothbrush over there, she was planning on staying. he planned it all out, it wasn’t a mistake. he knew what he was doing, he just didn’t care. he didn’t care about you. he could do it again ya know?” these thoughts are fucking loud, and can be constant. and they make my blood boil. i’d never understood that saying until now, i can feel my blood getting hotter and hotter whenever i think about it. i know i need to get over it and complaininng isn’t going to help but i just needed a place to vent it. and tumblrs been pretty good for that.

i need to get off my ass….today. if there was a carreer in procrastination i’d be the donald trump of that field. but theres not. i think i should delete my tumblr and facebook sometimes cause they distract me. its not these websites fault obviously. plenty of people have jobs and facebooks. and if i wasn’t online i’d be doing something else that was useless. i always have a plan for my days, but i always seem to just put it off. i put off a lot of things i shouldn’t. idk why i do. its a stupid habit.

if i start selling mark makeup, how many of you tumblr-folk would like to buy it from me?

today i’m baking cupcakes for my mom for church…i finally got some pain killers for these damn teeth and hopefully they’ll be taken out next week. i have to go see an oral surgen and he’ll tell me when he can take them out. =] pretty lame 200th post but thats all i got for now

my wonderful mother just drove to taco bell and picked me up three soft shell tacos with no lettuce and i am now staring at with hungry, hungry eyes because i cannot eat because wisdom teeth were sent straight from a dental office in hell from the devil himself. what is the purpose of these teeth hmm? are they leftover from cavemen days? who needs them? who uses them? i didn’t ask for them and i hate them! i hate these new teeth!!!!! FUCK

when they are gone i’m asking my wonderful mother to drive me down to the a southern cooking buffet to make up for the weeks of stupid milkshakes and soups and i’m getting myself and chicken fried steak! 

 A wisdom tooth that is fully erupted through the gum can be extracted as easily as any other tooth. However, a wisdom tooth that is underneath the gums and embedded in the jawbone will require an incision into the gums and then removal of the portion of bone that lies over the tooth. Oftentimes, for a tooth in this situation, the tooth will be extracted in small sections rather than removed in one piece to minimize the amount of bone that needs to be removed to get the tooth out.

i found that paragraph on webmd.com 

oh god, i think mine are currently under the gums. i’m already in a shit ton of pain right now….oh god, i hope they give me a really strong pain killer. and i’m not even one of those girls that like…likes pills or gets high off perscription meds. but i’m praying for hyrdocodone right now. 

i think my wisdom teeth are coming in, does this mean i’ll get some wisdom and start making better decisions????? uhhhh nawww, probably not. but anyway, besides the pain of four new teeth entering my already tiny mouth i am excited about the weekend. i mean i’m always excited for fridays and saturdays cause let’s face it, they’re the best days of the week. reasons i’m excited for this friday and saturday in particular are, D’s momma is headed to tampa. not that i want her gone, actually on tuesday i slept over there (not in secret) and i talked to her about just recent events and future plans….basically the same old story she’s been listening to but hopefully this time, for D and myself, there will be actions behind them. i don’t believe things could get much worse. one of us taking a trip to the hospital and the other giving black eyes to a cokewhore. yes hopefully events like those will not happen anymore, i hope we learned something.